The Human Thing to Do: Lying to Yourself
This can be a difficult question to ask yourself but if your asking you really want the truth!!! Are you lying to yourself?
By: Vanessa Gilbert
As humans, we perform a lot of acts we wish we had never done, and we spend a lot of our time on earth regretting what has already been done, something we can’t change. Whether it was that bad breakup, or smoking for twenty years, or even wishing we would have gone out and exercised on those Sunday mornings, we all worry about them and we all lie to ourselves to pretend that it wasn’t our fault, and that we couldn’t have prevented it anymore than what we did. In fact, it seems we lie to ourselves so much we can’t piece the truth apart from the false things we have told ourselves for months on end. If there is one fact I have learned in my thirteen years of life, it is that everything in this world is corrupt in one way or another. That certain aspect, religion, club, organization, or mindset didn’t even start out pure because it was most likely made by humans, who are dirty, selfish, and continually seeking the solace they find in having a solution for everything. I guess you could say that lying to yourself has always been something we have done. You can’t blame this one on popular culture, teenagers, or the failing economy. Humans have lived this way for thousands and thousands of years, and we’ve made it this far thinking the same exact way. Is it okay to be delusional and far from the truth? Is it worth knowing the truth just because it is the truth? Furthermore, would we be better off if we were up front with each other and ourselves?
Self deception, also known medically as repression, is a coping mechanism executed in many different ways. In fact, if repression gets too serious, the person using this coping mechanism is very susceptible to increased tension and irresponsible behavior they cannot explain or understand. Repression can suck all of the energy out of your life, and you won’t even realize it. For example, I have an aunt who was a bit overweight, and in high school, she set her eyes on the star quarterback, determined with all of her might to get him to love her. He was not interested at all, to put it nicely. Although he made his thoughts about her plain, she continued to paste pictures of him onto her binder, follow him around at school, and make it her whole day if he responded to her over ecstatic, “Hello!” In fact, it got to the point where she convinced herself that because he was treating her so poorly, he was actually, secretly in love with her, and he just was too scared to let his friends know
She started walking past his house several times a day and calling him up on the telephone, fully convinced that he wanted her to, although that was utterly untrue. She couldn’t, and wouldn’t accept the fact that he didn’t find her attractive, and just made things worse by developing stalker habits. It took her many years to finally understand that he would never like her.
I must say, romance has a lot to do with this paper. Just because a guy talked to you doesn’t mean he likes you; in fact, if you think that, it’s likely you made yourself more of a roadblock, or an obstacle, instead of available, which is why he even bothered to talk to you in the first place. One thing women of all ages have to realize is that if a guy likes you, he will make it happen, and the more you push yourself out there, the less he will like you. If someone doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, you cannot do anything about that, although there are two ways of coping with this situation. You can either face the truth head on and try to recuperate and move on, or you can lie to yourself and pretend that there is some reason this person doesn’t want to speak with you. Women have made this mistake of blowing everything out of proportion for probably centuries and centuries. Being a girl, I can safely say I have made this mistake before, and I’ve egged on similar situations several times previously. We do it to each other and we don’t even realize it! It seems that we are so afraid of getting hurt or accepting that there is something wrong with us, we just push it aside, and either pretend he doesn’t notice, or you blame it all on the man. (Excuse the generalizations, but once again, if you’re a woman offended by this, you’re lying to yourself. Stop it.) Guys and girls will hurt you, some will love you, and it’s best to just wait for the right one.
My life up until just recently has just been me building myself up for something I know won’t come true. I think this really applies to both genders, and even though it’s really not that hard to realize what you’re doing, it’s so hard to stop. There are many ways to perform this form of self deception, and it’s anywhere from relying on someone or something to “tell your future”, to just repeating hopeful or wishful thinking over and over in your head. I used an Ouija board to help me figure out everything, from if the guy I liked had reciprocal feelings, to if I was going to ace the next math test I had. It, of course, told me everything I wanted to hear. My future was interesting and fulfilling, and it was completely ideal to my ears; things played out exactly how I pictured them. Then, when the day came that I was supposed to drop five pounds or visit the mall, it never happened and I was upset all over again, so I just used the Ouija board immediately after to make me feel better about the previous happening not coming true. The sad thing is I didn’t even know I was doing this to myself until very recently.
Surprisingly enough, we even use repression as a nation. The day after president Obama’s inauguration, half the people I came across were whining and complaining that not enough “change happened” over night. Now we expect the stimulus package to automatically fix all of our problems, even though we must pitch in, all of us, to make any of it work at all. Besides that, we try to blame everything on George W. Bush, even though we voted for him two consecutive times! If we really didn’t like what he was doing, we could have stopped it, but we didn’t. We act like what he did in Iraq and Afghanistan were terrible, but we knew full and well what was happening. It is our fault the economy in America is poor right now, and it is up to us to fix it.
In conclusion, very few of my questions have truly been answered. However, I think that until the day comes where we take a stride and realize that no, he doesn’t like you, yes, you have problems, and yes, our nation has made a mistake, things will never be any different. It may hurt to face the truth in the beginning, but in the long run, you are guaranteed to be happy. You will be happy with yourself, with the people you love, and with the cold, hard truth, and nothing else. In the process of opening your eyes, you see a lot more than just what’s around you. You see what you missed, what is real, and what is to look forward to. Not everything that is true is harsh. If we do not come to realize what is real, we will continue to be let down, and we will always make the same mistakes. All our energy will all be put into something that is not helping us any. We will neither advance nor go backward. Instead of staying stagnate, why not move forward?
Have a blessed week
Love & Light